What does it mean to you?

Tuesday, Dec. 02, 2003 at 5:08 p.m.

I had to turn the tv off to think. I've been noticing lately that I don't like noise. I like peace, silence and tranquility. I never used to be that way. At one time, I liked noise and loud music and chaos. When did I change? Maybe when I started trying to listen to myself, my inner voice. Its telling me what I need to do, but most times I can't hear it. That's when I have to turn down/off the tv, and open the back door to hear what is real to me.

Let me tell you what is real to me...

birds and squirrels fighting over who is going to make it to the food first; snow falling in the silence; confronting demons head on, the raw ache I feel when confronting said demons; my cat when she is lying in a ray of sunshine and she's warm and happy; true and loyal family; having something finally come to light..something you've been searching for for a long while and its been right there all along; finding a treasure within the pages of a book, a story that speaks to you; my husband's laughter when we are just 'being' together, not fighting, just being there and having fun; knowing I've finally found a true friend, someone who I can trust and tell anything to, something I've never experienced before; losing someone important to me, that someone that could've changed my life forever.

This is what's real to me.

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."

-John Burroughs

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