Oriental Simplicity

Defining Moments

Wednesday, Nov. 05, 2003 at 2:03 a.m.

I cant believe I am this amazed at what I've read. I recieved the Dr. Phil book, Self Matters today in the mail from Amazon.com. I know, I know, I can see you rolling your eyes now. I've just spent an hour crying my eyes out reading the first chapter. It is familiar ground. And I quote:

"Let me tell you what I would wish for you to be thinking and saying now, during, and after you read this book:

'Hey, wait a minute here. Screw the expectancies; screw living for everyone else. They (whoever 'they' are) don't pay my rent, they don't come home with me at night and bathe my kids and cook my dinner! Why, then, am I living for what I think some ill-defined bunch of people expect of me? They don't get a vote anymore. I will no longer give my power away. I want it back, and I'm going to use it to be me. I want to make me happy by being true to myself doing what I care about. If I love music, I want to have music in my life. If I want a career, then I want to find a way to have it. If I'm tired of being fat, I want to prioritize that change into my lifestyle. If I'm not being treated with dignity and respect, that's not okay, not now, not ever. I would rather be alone than sick with someone else. If I miss God being in my life because my husband is not spiritual, then he will need to adjust, not me. I'm tired of being scared all the time. Scared about kids, money, job, boss, parents, and acceptance. I want some upside here. I want to feel alive. I want to feel valued by others and myself. I want to get up in the morning, instead of dreading it. I want to have a tremendous clarity about why I am in this world and what I am supposed to do while I am here. I want to realize this is not a dress rehearsal; it is my life, my one shot. I want my kids to know and have all of me instead of some half-assed counterfeit. I want them to really see all of the real me, my interest, my sense of humor, my values. I believe that children learn what they live, and I want to teach them by example to be proud, instead of showing them how to compromise. I want to live with peace, fulfillment, joy, and excitement. I want to be able to finish a day and say that the day 'felt really good.' I want to be able to say that I am proud of me and proud of what I did today. I want to be able to say, 'I like who I am and what I'm all about.' I want to feel calm and peaceful. I want to feel satisfied. I want to be able to say, 'I feel good.' I want to feel like I belong and I deserve what I want just because-just because! I want to like me for being there for me an putting what's important to me on my priority list.'

I know...makes for a long entry, but I wanted to type it out. I feel like a lightbulb went off in my head or I had a huge revelation via Dr Phil..hehe. I have a long journey ahead of me..wanna come along?

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